Happy Birthday Mom
I miss you


I’ll always see your face
The corner of your smile
And all the little things that no one will ever know
Like it was yesterday, won’t ever fade away
Goodbye is just a word that I will never say

You will never be forgotten
A million days could pass us by
But what is time but just a dream
Oh I still feel you here with me
You’re more than a memory
Oh you will never be forgotten

I can‘t hold your hand
Or look into your eyes
And when I talk to you
It just echoes in my mind
But If hearts are made of dust
And if we fell from the stars
I look up tonight and know just where you are

You will never be forgotten
A million days could pass us by
But what is time but just a dream
Oh I still feel you here with me
You’re more than a memory
Oh you will never be forgotten

And the world just keeps on going
It has no way of knowing
That you’re gone

You will never be forgotten
A million days could pass us by
But what is time but just a dream
Oh I still feel you here with me
You’re more than a memory

Oh you will never be forgotten

Halloween

So in light that I work a double tomorrow and we probably won't take Lizzy trick-or-treating anyways we have decided to forgo the Halloween costume for this year and just go with a Halloween outfit. Pictures to be posted soon. But just so you know she was going to be a Tootsie Roll. How cute!

Happy Birthday Manda -
Hope the Scariest Monsters tonight keep you laughing through tomorrow.

Love April, John, and LizzyBOO!

HEEEEEEEELPPPP

okay so I've realized over the last 24 hours that I desperately need a reminder system that actually hits me over the head when I have important events coming up. I've tried the day planner, cell phone, and now I'm trying a system that e-mails me 18 hours prior to the start of the event.

I think I have every event for the next 3 months written down and planned out but someone please let me know if we have anything scheduled for November 4th. I'm almost certain I have something planned but for the life of me can't figure it out. I have Manda's b-day, Stacy's, Katy's, 2 dr's appts, 3 events for work and 1 for john's work and I can't stinkin remember what I'm supposed to do on that Saturday. I seriously need a break but until I get that if we have something planned can you let me know

On The Bandwagon

Ok so with my work schedule and taking care of Lizzy I have very little time to actually sit down and watch real television. So I don't have any favorite shows that I can lament over. If I'm lucky enough to actually get five minutes it the TV is usually tuned to something like Disney so Lizzy can be entertained as well.

But on the other hand I'm not desperate enough to record shows I've never seen before to try and get into them also - it's different if you already know you like them. But since I've decided to do the whole Netflix thing I've decided to rent them. Only one season at a time and if I don't like the rest I can just not rent anymore. So I'm starting with Lost - and no I've never seen a single episode. In fact I saw the first 5 minutes of the 1st episode and decided the best part about it was the plane crash. But I';; give it a go and see what everyone sees in it.

If you have any other good ideas let me know. I keep adding to the list everyday and Netflix has just about everything.

Can I go to bed yet?

I'm tired - so tired in fact I've decided not to spell check this blog to see how many mistakes I make. So I've made one mistake already in calling this a blog instead of a post. My work schedule at this time is Monday evenings, Tuesday and Wednesday all day (surgery on Wednesdays, weekly staff meetings during lunch on Tuesday), thursday mornings and Sunday 10-2 (that's all day while we're open) Sounds like a prety cheezy schedule but i'm exhaused. I get up at 5:30 every mornng feed the baby and get ready to go to work. I'm there at 6:45 and I don't get out of there until 7:30 if I'm there all day so by the time 6:00 rolls around I'm ready to lie in the middle of the lab and sleep until morning.

I've been sitting here with a blank stare on my face deciding on what I wanted to post and this was it :) I'm tired, I need vacation time, I need to go on a date with my husband, I would love to have time to actually do my laundry rather than do a loas here and there when all my work clothes are dirty.

Grant me the strength to put Lizzy to bed tonight and fall asleep and stau asleep. Help me to actually hear my alarm tomorrow mornng and not throw it across the room. Allow me to not strangle any unsuspecting clients tomorrow. That's my little work prayer. I'd sya that it is supposed to get better but unfortunately I still have until the middle of Decembner to do this.

Well i better get going. I need to get Boo to bed and take a shower myself then throw a load of laundry in the washer - go figure all my work clothes are dirty.

And if someone would be so kind to post the number of mistakes I've made it would be geatly appreciated.

Parenthood

Lizzy had her 4 month old check-up yesterday (Can you believe it's already been 4 months?!) and she is a pretty average baby. Not so average to me :). She falls into the 50th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference and developmentally is doing everything a 4 month old should do. She is 13 lbs, 24.8 inches long and her hair continues to grow at all angles and will still not sit down without chemical help. John chose not to go to this doctor's appointment for fear of assaulting the nurse that came in to give the shots so I took her by myself and started thinking about the minds of babies.

One of the questions they asked me is if she vocalizes towards us and if she initiates vocalization. Both answers were yes and I got to thinking about what she would be saying as she goos and gahs at me. I wonder is she is telling me about her day at daycare or telling me that she loves me. And then she smiles and no matter how common place it is to smile I get the biggest grin on my face. And when I tickle her and she laughs I get hysterical. Are all new parents like this?

Do all parent's delight in the mundane of games like peek-a-boo? I find myself telling her about my day even though I know she doesn't understand. A year ago when I first found out I was pregnant nothing in a millian decades could have prepared me for motherhood. No amount of advice, no books, or web pages could have told me that even though it's probably one of the most frightening experiences, parenthood is by far the most rewarding thing anyone can do.

Those Mean Old Doctor People

Lizzy had her 4 month old check-up yesterday (Can you believe it's already been 4 months?!) and she is a pretty average baby. Not so average to me :). She falls into the 50th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference and developmentally is doing everything a 4 month old should do. She is 13 lbs, 24.8 inches long and her hair continues to grow at all angles and will still not sit down without chemical help. John chose not to go to this doctor's appointment for fear of assaulting the nurse that came in to give the shots so I took her by myself and started thinking about the minds of babies.

One of the questions they asked me is if she vocalizes towards us and if she initiates vocalization. Both answers were yes and I got to thinking about what she would be saying as she goos and gahs at me. I wonder is she is telling me about her day at daycare or telling me that she loves me. And then she smiles and no matter how common place it is to smile I get the biggest grin on my face. And when I tickle her and she laughs I get hysterical. Are all new parents like this?

Do all parent's delight in the mundane of games like peek-a-boo? I find myself telling her about my day even though I know she doesn't understand. A year ago when I first found out I was pregnant nothing in a millian decades could have prepared me for motherhood. No amount of advice, no books, or web pages could have told me that even though it's probably one of the most frightening experiences, parenthood is by far the most rewarding thing anyone can do.

Memories

Have you ever woke up one morning and wondered how you got to where you are today? Have you ever analyzed what decisions you've made and how different life would be if you chose something different? And if you have and you had the opportunity to do it again would you change something so that your life would be different?

I woke up this morning and realized that in 5 days Lizzy will be 4 months old. She gets her next round of immunizations next Friday and her pictures at 1 day old look nothing like her pictures at 3 months old.

I titled this Blog "The Ups and Downs" cause that's what life is filled with - ups and downs. And that's what I intend to share with everyone who takes the time to read this as I start posting more.

My Dad leaves tomorrow for a 2 week long trip to Germany to visit my sister - could you picture my dad a world traveller? It's kinda funny - he's planning to spend a week with my sister and her husband and then rent a motorcycle and take a week long ride through Germany possibly heading into other countries - depends on the weather. He's so excited. It's been a while since I've seen him this excited.....

Then I start thinking that the week after he returns is my mom's birthday - October 31st. And I get sad. I had a crying jag a few nights ago over it - first one I've had in 5 months (since Mother's Day). It's hard for me to think that she'll never be there to watch Lizzy grow up and then I think that it must be 10 times harder for my dad. We've resigned ourselves to the fact that Vanessa will never understand just how lucky she was that mom was around via computer or phone to give her advice and help her out. I know everyone had said "If you need anything let me know" but it's just not the same. This coming Friday as I leave the pediatrician's office with my sad and hurt baby girl I'll think of the last time and realized that when she cries and cries and runs a fever and feels bad later that night my mom will watch me and be proud because I'm raising the prettiest little girl and she's happy. Not just smile at mommy and daddy happy but real honest to goodness I have the world on my shoulders happy and i'm looking forward to exploring it. And when she's old enough to understand I'll tell her one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world was Grandma Brabbs and while she can't be here to watch her grow up she's looking after her and wants to be her best friend.

I've always thought to myself "May life be filled with more ups than downs" This is one of my downs and it's probably the hardest one I'll ever deal with. Every once in a while I get reminiscent about the last year and get sad but the good days definately outweigh the bad and I'm not traveling in some deep seeded depression over it cause I have ups too. I have friends that love me and my little girl and I don't know what I would do without them.

So Thank You - for all you do - day in and out. Even though we don't see each other every day I want everyone of you to know that my friends make me strong. They make me believe and give me hope. My friends are Ups in life and I don't know what I would do without each and every one of you.